Love Languages

The Love Languages became a popular way to look at relationships when Gary Chapman wrote the book that first brought this to light. He believes there are five different ways that we express our love.

While you read this I'm sure that people will pop into mind, the relationships you have with your loved ones and things you could change or do better. My purpose here is to help you understand more about how you exchange this energy of love.

These are the relationships that we want to pay attention to how we can strengthen, support and help each other and how we can feel more fulfilled as we experience more giving and receiving. 

Sometimes we're not open to receive even though others are trying to do things that they think we would love. Sometimes we have to be open for them to be in the gift of giving. We want to allow them to gift to us and accept it graciously.

Here's the premise of the Love Languages.

Many people love words of affirmation, to be told “you're doing a good job” or “I really love your work” or “I love the way that you laugh”. 

Words of affirmation are easy for some people to say. Others don't always have good things to say. If it's important to you to hear this, sometimes you may have to ask or set up a compliment. But I know, it feels like it negates the compliment when you solicit it.

I think if you're lacking this in your relationship, you have to be very positive in the way you talk to yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and speak directly to whom you see. What do you wish to hear?

If someone else is always dishing out the compliments, do they like to receive them too?

This is doing something for someone. Building or putting together a physical project, fixing something, doing their taxes, shovelling the drive or clearing leaves all say love when you jump in and help out in the best way you know how. If you don't know how to build things then find something that you can do to make the situation better.

If it's important for you to have others do acts of service for you, then you may have to ask for it. Then you will have to let people do this for you. Open up to accept it.

Actual physical gifts or gifts on their way really jazz some people up. Think of those that get excited about Christmas and birthdays, it might be the gifts they love to give and receive. And it might be very important that they go and shop for the perfect gift for someone. Most often I would say this would be a physical thing you could wrap up or an experiential thing like paying for a vacation. 

And it's perfectly fine that you purchase gifts for yourself. It's important that you celebrate who you are and the milestone's along the way. Having a physical reminder of a special time can be a good long lasting feeling for yourself. It's great to share those times with loved ones, but some things are just for you.

Are you sitting down to dinner and everyone's on the phone? Do you even sit down to dinner? Think of the times you actually sit with someone and give them your time. No one is getting quality time if the TV is on. And if everyone is on their device, that's not quality time. 

If it's important to someone in your family or the person you're spending time with at any particular moment, pay attention to giving them your time. The act of being on time, showing up when you say you will and doing things you said you would are respecting others' time.

Do they love to have all your attention or do they love to give you attention? Step away from the phone and be in the moment with them.

Cuddling, touching, stroking hair or frequent hugs and holding each other are important for some people to feel loved. When you share space, you share your energetic field with them. Pay attention to how that feels. Are you holding back? Can you feel their energy?

When you hug or become closer by holding hands or kisses on the cheek, you are exchanging your energy with them. When you're open and loving, they can feel it. Same if they are being open and loving with you, tune into it and be intentional so that it can be a stronger connection. 

These are all suggestions to help you in the relationships that are important to you. Of course you're not going use intention to get closer if that's not what you want with someone. This is for deepening relationships.

To know yourself better, go through each of the languages of love to see which one is stronger for you. Most people have a mix of what they like and experience but there is usually a strong love language for you.

Then go through your list of loved ones and imagine how you can be more intentional in building that relationship. It's worth looking at Love Languages and if you'd like a meditation to let all these wonderful loving vibrations soak through to your whole being, visit our channel on YouTube for our Pisces New Moon meditation, the zodiac sign of Love.

Here's the Pisces New Moon Meditation: